


in a sea of feeling

by thebeesintheclouds



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is Whipped, Comfort, Confessions, Cuddling, I get it they're all basically the same story over and over, I'm just writing how much they're in love over and over, M/M, Piggybacks, Soft kissing, can people write more chansung, ch4 and ch6 are not in lapslock, ch9 is also really long, ch9 is not lapslock, its all good v short, kind words of encouragement, some verbal fights in ch6, studio kissing, they're in love, theyre also not quite together in ch9 but chans in love, theyre still in love dw, this is a dump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26039014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebeesintheclouds/pseuds/thebeesintheclouds
Summary: this is uh all the chansung in my notes app and some might be very similar to others and some might feel unfinished but it's all chansung and i did my best i thinkin all of them, they're very in love though.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han
Comments: 22
Kudos: 71





	1. so, so, so in love

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for tuning into chansung central
> 
> let's just have good wishes for these gay lovers

chan adjusted in his body, slowly opening his eyes. his bleary eyesight somehow focused on the clock on the nightstand, shining a nice two forty-seven am. he felt an added weight to his mattress and was about to turn around when the form dropped in front of him, a noise akin to a whine drawn out from them. knowing that tone, he was slowly able to recognize it was jisung. 

"hannie," he slurred, his tired voice deep and low. jisung ignored him and pushed his way past Chan's arms. chan felt his small arms wrap around his torso and his face press into his collarbone, warmth breath already hitting his neck. he recognized something wet touching his shoulder and pulled back just a little, arms wrapping around jisung on instinct and squeezing. 

he rested his gaze on jisung, raising a hand up to his face to lift his chin. he recognized the downcast eyes, wet cheeks, and red nose and immediately went to hold his cheek. "oh, hannie, I'm so sorry. it's okay. I got you. I always got you, hannie," he murmured, pulling jisung up by shoulder and covering his face in soft little kisses. 

the younger sighed and softly smiled after a few moments, chan pressing one final, gentle kiss to his nose before leaning back. jisung's smile grew until he shook with silent laughter, poking at chan's nose. the older just smiled, happy to see his smile. 

they spent a couple moments staring at one another, smiling softly and feeling warm in each other's presence. chan felt his gaze slip from his eyes and to his lips more than once and found that he couldn't resist any longer, leaning in and connecting them gently and slowly.

jisung hummed in response, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around Chan's neck. chan breathed in the softness of how jisung kissed after a nightmare, craving only the sweetest affection he could find. how his skin would turn pink at the slightest bit of affection, how he curled in close without needing to say a word, and how he would always come to chan, reaffirming that he felt for him in a way that made chan's stomach burn with love and appreciation. jisung was always his, consistently assuring him of that with the softest of things. 

chan pulled away after a moment, rubbing Jisung's back as he placed his forehead against us. "are you alright, baby?" 

jisung looked away, but the glow in his eyes assured chan that that wasn't a badly timed question. "I'm okay. it was just..." his eyes shifted just a little and chan raised a hand up to hold his cheek, reminding him of the present moment. "it was bad, but I'm okay. I'm not there anymore." he tilted his head into chan's hand, hair falling back into his eyes. chan wished for just a moment that he was good at art so he could draw the image that sat before him. 

he scooted closer and ran his hand through Jisung's soft hair, planting a kiss on his forehead and sighing against him. "youre wonderful. you're actually more than wonderful; you're the moon and the stars and the blue that fits in between when we look up at it. you're everything to me, hannie." he looked at him with his forehead to his, watching the flush grow on his face. adorable.

"hyung," jisung whined, pushing his face into chan's shoulder. chan felt a fond pull in his chest and hugged him tight to his chest, running one hand through his hair and the other up and down his back. 

"my wonderful hannie," he murmured, eyelids drooping. "the absolute love of my life, hannie." he set out nickname after nickname, feeling jisung relax against him and his breathe begin to even out. "oh, I love you, hannie," he whispered finally, kissing the top of his head and burying his face in Jisung's neck. he inhaled the scent of someone he found all too precious and slowly fell asleep, clutching him close.


	2. obsessed with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more cuddling and kissing and love but better ig

chan kissed carefully down jisung's cheek, barely missing a spot. he pressed slow and heavy as he enjoyed jisung breathing near his ear, hands gently holding onto his shirt as chan leaned over him. the older leaned on his elbow more heavily, brushing a slow hand up jisung's side under his shirt. jisung made a soft noise at his hands and chan hid his pleased smile against his neck. 

"so perfect, my hannie," he mumbled against his skin, tracing a new path down his neck. the younger feebly whined under him and his hands tightened a little more around his shoulders. 

he kissed slowly up again and hovered gently over a particular spot on his neck. teasing him, he blew over jisung's neck and lightly kissed it, barely pressing down at all. jisung whined a little louder, "hyuuuuung..."

"what, hannie?" 

he did it again, waiting for the moment jisung took a breath in and his body moved to complain and whine. he counted it just right, feeling him about to start, and pressed down more firmly, nipping the skin gently. the younger's movements halted slightly, a choked huff leaving his lips. 

he hid his smug grin as he chose instead to suck a little harder on the sensitive spot. he was rewarded by the labored breathing underneath him and jisung's small, grabby hands, unable to stay in one place in particular. they chased up and down chan's shoulders, sometimes sliding far enough up to pull lightly on the curls at the edge of his hairline and sometimes sliding far enough down to brush the rough pads of his fingers against chan's bicep. the older liked them on his skin, but jisung's hands looked so pretty grasping around anything. but maybe that was chan being in love with his hands in general. 

he might've lost track of what he was doing a little, too caught up in his thoughts of jisung's hands. he pulled away from the bruised skin carefully, admiring it for a moment before pressing a gentle kiss to it. 

"you always sounds so pretty," he muttered, eyes dragging up jisung's exposed neck to his heavy-lidded eyes. jisung looked back at him and his hands gently pulled at chan's neck, another soft whine leaving his pouty lips. 

"so cute, you're so cute," and he leaned in, moving his hand slowly up from jisung's waist to his cheek. he hovered just over his lips, admiring jisung's face just for one moment as he rubbed his jaw. the younger liked to say all of his features were nice just not together, but chan thought all of them were nice especially to together. they made up the face that smiled at him, whined, pouted, and, at the moment, looked just as in love as he felt. if he had known days prior that he would get to see this look from the han jisung himself, he would've done something sooner. 

jisung made a small noise and tugged on the front of chan's shirt, trying to get him kiss him. the older amusedly let him and savored jisung's bitten lips, already red and a little puffy from kissing earlier. he took his time kissing him this time, lips moving gently against his. jisung seemed tired by now, sighing against their slower, softer movements. he slid his hands around chan's neck, holding the older's face in his hands. 

against his lips, jisung muttered, "you always say sweet stuff to me, but can I remind you that I think you're cute too?" chan huffed out a laugh and pulled away just a lil, just to get a look at jisung's smug grin. the younger raised his eyebrows at him. 

"am I wrong, hyung," he said amusedly, gently patting the older's cheeks. "you're a cutie." chan huffed again, ignoring him in favor of tucking his face into jisung's neck. "oh, come on! you're so cute! you're cute and sweet and kind and loving and thoughtful and honestly, hyung, I should make a list but it probably won't end because at some point I'm gonna-"

"I get it, sungie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chansung mess #2 but is it really that different lmao


	3. find me when I drown in you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan's having a rough night. it ends differently than expected.

chan had cooped himself up in the studio for the majority of the day and now, at four am, he wasn't sure it was actually doing him any good. everything he put together sounded fine until he played it all together, which is kind of the point, so he was honestly at a fucking loss. he was trying to write lyrics for a specific melody too, but it wasn't coming out right. every draft he'd check in his folders didn't seem to fit either. nothing seemed to be working in his favor at all.

he grumbled and dropped his head onto the table with a heavy thud, the noise overpowering the sound of the door opening and closing right next to him. 

"um, hyung?" 

he jumped, spinning towards the door, only to find jisung staring back. he was wearing many layers, which was to be expected of jisung in cold weather. depiste that, his cheeks were still flushed red from where they poked out from under his mask. he wasn't wearing any gloves though and chan's urge to hold them to warm them up was strong. 

he looked back at the desk, rubbing his face. "hey, hannie. sorry, just, got a little preoccupied." he glanced at his laptop and felt his stomach twist at his lack of completed work. 

jisung moved the chair on the other side right up to the desk. "but it's four am. I thought you'd gotten better about the whole staying late thing?" he plopped down and took off the biggest coat, his beanie coming with it and his fluffy brown hair exposed. 

chan always thought he looked so cute with messy hair. 

"well, yeah, but, I'm just trying to- finish this thing." he waved non-committally to the laptop, leaning back a little. he could feel jisung's eyes on him. 

there a small silence and chan let out a sigh. he knew what was to come next. 

"it's okay if it's not coming out tonight, hyung. just like you said, "everyone has off days," right?"

he looked over at him. jisung's big, soft eyes stared back, gentle and open. he looked like he was waiting for something. chan wanted something but he didn't know what. 

hesitantly, the younger broke their eye contact, scooted forward in his seat, and reached out to touch chan's hand with two of his, peeling it away from his face. chan watched in awe as he held it as gently as one would a vase of flowers and bring it to his lips, gently kissing his knuckles. 

"it's okay, channie hyung. just take a moment and think about what you wanna do next." 

chan stared at him, mouth agape. he unfurled his hand gently in jisung's grasp and grazed his hand across the soft skin of jisung's cheek, holding it gently in his grasp. the younger gripped his wrist with both hands, cheeks much darker than before. 

they sat like this for a moment, savoring the small touch. for the first time this whole night, chan felt calm. 

however, quietly, like breaking the surface of water, chan spoke, 

"I want to kiss you." 

they both jerked at the sudden confession, surprised. jisung's eyes grew large, the red spreading throughout the rest of his face. chan could feel it under his palm. 

he was prepared to have to apologize for saying such a thing and making jisung uncomfortable when the younger's hands tightened around his wrist and his eyes grew a little hard with something like boldness, and he whispered, "then do it." 

chan wasted no seconds, but also didn't rush it. he pushed gently away from his chair, gently reached out for jisung's forearm, and leaned in. he paused just a breath away from his lips, checking with his eyes. 

(jisung was also breathtaking from such a close distance. if chan could, he'd go stargazing in his eyes and he'd definitely find more stars than he'd find in the night sky.)

the younger hesitantly nodded, eyelashes fluttering with sudden shyness. chan found it endearing.

and then he leaned in.


	4. better than moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a late night to fall in love again and again

"Hannie."

Jisung sleepily looked up, eyelids heavy. Chan smiled down at him and Jisung began to stretch as the other looked at him. 

"What is it, hyung," he mumbled, not even trying to get up. He pulled his knees back to his chest and yawned, getting comfortable again. 

Chan breathily laughed, holding out a hand. "You fell asleep for two hours, so it's late. Why don't we go home and you can sleep there?" He pat Jisung's thigh, trying to make sure the other was awake. 

"Ah, but I'm comfy." 

Chan sat down next to him and pulled on his legs. "Come on, Hannie, you'll sleep better at home." Jisung grumbled, snuggling closer into the comfort of his own arms. "I'll carry you home, Hannie," he sang it like he was dangling a treat in front of a dog. Knowing Jisung, he kind of was. "I'll even cuddle with you."

Jisung cracked open an eye to look at him. "So I don't have to walk?"

Chan shook his head, hiding his amusement.

Jisung huffed. 

"Fine."

Chan grinned and turned his back to the other, waiting for him to wrap himself around him like the octopus he usually is. While grumbling, they configured the piggy back to both of their comfortability and began to prepare to leave. 

"Hyung," Jisung spoke up from Chan's shoulder, "don't forget to log out of the program too. You always forget." 

"Oh, shoot, you're right," Chan said, carefully leaning down to log out in the computer. Jisung compensated, wrapping his legs around his legs to stay on his back. Chan would be lying if that didn't make his stomach feel warm. 

It definitely was late, but the outdoors reflected that more so than the indoors. The cicadas were a little quieter, being close to summer but not quite there. Enough of the city lights were out that they could partially see some stars, but only so much. 

Though Jisung was asleep through most of the walk, sometimes he would wake up just to mumble something very random in Chan's ear. 

"Hyung, I saw a star that I think looks just like you."

"Oh, really? Could you describe it?"

"Big nose. Big smile. Chan hyung." 

"Thats- that's all there is to me, huh?"

A soft grumble and then no response. 

Five minutes later, the body on his back shifted. Jisung's breath hit more closely to his ear and his arms sagged a little further over his shoulders, his pretty hands occasionally knocking against Chan's chest. If Chan wasn't busy carrying him, he'd hold his hand. 

"Chan hyung," Jisung's soft voice - way too close to his ear - spoke up, "are we almost there?" 

He hummed in response, leaning more forward to rub at Jisung's thighs in apology for if he was uncomfortable. "Almost." Jisung hummed back, leaning his head against his. 

"Thank you, hyung." 

Chan nearly malfunctioned, his heart leaping in his chest. He doesn't know why such simple words always did that to him, but, if it was Hannie, there was no way they wouldn't. 

It's always been this way. Pining and adoring a short, super talented rapper who so desperately wanted to learn more about music. The same guy he formed a group with and then another group with. Out of everybody in the world he'd never be able to live without, Han Jisung was number one. 

He had gotten good control of it, especially after all that time as 3Racha. Towards the end was the roughest, because he'd only just realized what it was and wanted so desperately to act on it. To kiss Jisung's squirrel cheeks and tell him how much he adored him. But he got it under control. He had to. 

"Ah, hyung, I can't sleep. You're thinking so loudly," Jisung mumbled from above him, yawning into the night air as they reached their building. Chan chuckled at him and let him get down, smiling fondly when Jisung clung to his arm. 

"Didn't know you were a mind reader. Quick, what am I thinking, Hannie?" He led the other into the building, taking his backpack away from him along the way. Jisung grimaced at him. 

"I'm too tired for your old man jokes."

Chan wrapped an arm around him in response, attempting to keep him standing till they got inside. He took some time to occasionally admire Jisung's features as best as he could with him leaning against him. 

Not only did he have just a pretty face in general, but strong features to match. He was always so pretty to Chan, even when they bleached his hair or dyed it orange. He was pretty whether or not he was wearing makeup or not or covering half of his face or not. Jisung was always pretty to Chan. 

"You're pretty, Hannie," he muttered in the elevator, convinced the other was too half-asleep to hear him. 

However, Jisung smiled at him, eyes half open. "You're pretty too, hyung." Chan laughed off the way his heart did a little jump and instead poked Jisung's side where his hand rested. His target did a half-jump away from him before whining audibly. 

"I'm tired! Don't be mean to me!" He came back to his side though just as the elevator doors opened up and Chan grabbed his hand to lead him out. 

"I couldn't help it. Had to take the chance." He giggled at the quiet complaining coming from Jisung and led them both into their shared apartment, on the lookout for other members. 

However, life seemed almost non-existent. Save for the flashing of what was probably the television, the lights were out. There were quiet noises from the living room, but, again, probably the television. Other than that, the dorm was near silent. 

Jisung touched his hand with both of his and he nearly jumped, causing Jisung to have to dramatically hold in his laughter from his side. He ignored him and pressed further into the apartment. 

As he thought, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin were all splayed out in the living room. And, also, all asleep. The television was quietly playing a movie, but it was near the end so Chan stopped to turn it off while Jisung made sure everyone had a blanket. 

Then, quietly, they got ready for bed and walked off towards Jisung's room, now empty with Jeongin being in the living room. Once Chan had closed the door, Jisung threw himself down on his mattress dramatically and held his arms out. 

"You promised," he whispered. 

Chan smiled fondly and made a show of acting like this was a huge burdon on him, shuffling over while sighing heavily. However, he paused when he got close enough to really look at Jisung. 

The moonlight streamed through the bedroom window and hit across his freshly washed face. His drooping eyes still allowed some light to streak across his iris, coloring his gaze. Adorably, it seemed Jisung was pouting at him. 

He chuckled lightly. "Why are you pouting at me?" He shuffled onto the bed beside him, pulling the blanket over the two of them. 

"Because you, suddenly, just don't wanna cuddle with me," Jisung huffed, arms still held out. Chan shook his head and wrapped his own arms around Jisung's waist and pulled him in close. 

"I'm just kidding. Who wouldn't wanna cuddle you, Hannie? Besides, why would I promise it if I didn't want to?" He ran a hand through Jisung's hair and felt him sigh against his neck. 

"Yeah, yeah. I got my eye on you," he mumbled, his drowsiness clearly taking a hold of him. 

The silence began to settle over the room and Chan relished in the feeling of holding Jisung. He was always so warm and so soft and-

"Hyung."

Chan was sure he had already fallen asleep. He pulled back a little, his hand now resting on Jisung's neck. "What's up?"

Jisung's face wasn't as bright now as he looked at Chan, eyes heavy. He couldn't tell if he was tired or actually upset about something, but it definitely made him nervous. 

"You gotta promise you're gonna stay when I'm done, okay?"

Chan nodded, confused. 

"Okay, well, I really like you."

Jisung paused, pulling his arms back to himself to touch his own fingers. "Like not in the friend way. Just so we're clear. I have for a while. But, I'm tired and bold so I'm saying it finally." He glanced at Chan, looking a little uncomfortable. "You don't have to say anything back; I just needed to say it, you know?"

Chan took a moment to process this, deciding on the next course of action to take. Slowly, he moved his hand from the back of Jisung's neck to his cheek. "I don't know how to break it to you, Hannie, but I feel the same way for you."

For a quick moment, Jisung looked genuinely scared and then relieved and then, reasonably, angry. He lightly hit Chan's arm. "Don't start that kind of sentence with "don't know how to break it to you," - his impression of Chan was anything but correct but Chan laughed anyway - "that sends the whole wrong message." 

Chan rubbed his cheek with his thumb, adoration on his face. "Okay, well as sweet as this is, you should go to sleep, Hannie." 

Jisung touched Chan's arm and held back a yawn. "We're having a moment, hyung. You can't just send me to sleep."

"We can talk about it all later though. It's still super late, Han-ah." The body against his groaned quietly, but buried closer anyways. 

"Fine. But, actually talk about it. As much as I wanna kiss your stupid face, we have to make sure" - he yawned - "it all works? I don't know; I'm tired." 

Chan shook with suppressed laughter at his nonsense, holding him close. "Sure, we'll go over it all tomorrow. We'll make a meeting out of it. Whatever you want."

"Okay, cool. I got some presentations or whatever, I think." 

"Alright, Han-ah." 

He ran his hand through his hair again and pressed a kiss to his forehead, attempting to get him to fall asleep. He knew he was tired and, as much as he wanted to fulfill some of his own long-built desires, he was doing a pretty good job at keeping it under wraps and Jisung being the most adorable tired person ever wasn't going to change that. He hadn't ever done anything other times he'd felt this feeling for him, though he does suppose it's a little different now that he knows Jisung has wanted him in the same way. 

Now, with his favorite person sleeping soundly under the moonlight in his arms, he could positively think of the times he's get to act on his feelings and he felt warm. His eyelids slowly drooped shut after long enough, his dreams a happy place following his happy feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this may have been one of the first I wrote in my notes app that baby was deep in there and I've fished it out so I can expose myself for writing the same chansung story over and over again lol


	5. yes, i just saw you and yes, i missed you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> long day for channie but at least he has hannie.

chan shuffled his way inbetween jisung's legs, gently resting his weight onto him. there was a grumble below and small hands pushed his head down against jisung's warm chest, chan taking the chance to gently brushing a hand up jisung's shirt to feel his warm torso. he was cold and he missed him, so give him a break. 

"ah, hi, hyung," the younger murmured below him, clearly still half asleep. chan didn't mind, nuzzling at his collarbone. 

"hi, hannie. keep sleeping. it's all good." 

"m'okay." 

chan appreciated the silence anyways. it'd been a long day and, as usual, he was the last one to come home. it's not like he minded, but sometimes it was a little lonely on his walks back. 

if he's being honest with himself, tonight seemed to be one of his clingier days because he missed his boyfriend so much when he left, but literally saw him all day. but everyone had those days and jisung always understood, sometimes sneaking a hand under the table to grasp one of his, a small sign that he wanted to be just as clingy back. chan always appreciates that. 

he sighed happily as he listened to the younger man's breathing, so peaceful and so perfect. they'd only been officially together for three months, but chan knew this was a thousand times better for both of them than their long years of pining. 

he laments over all the moments he spent staring at jisung's hands wanting to hold them, watching his eyes sparkle and wanting to hold him, and seeing him be so absolutely beautiful that he deserved a kiss or two. 

the night he confessed was fully by accident, a slip of the tongue when going over lyrics and melodies together when changbin went to see what hyunjin wanted in a dance practice room. 

jisung had been staring intensely at his lyrics, scribbling notes onto the side and chan grabbed his wrist to correct something, but instead froze up, stared at him, and blurted out, "i want to kiss you... really bad... right now." jisung cried immediately and, honestly? it scared the living shit out of chan, but even through his teary blubbering, he told chan, "i never thought you'd feel the same way." 

and soon, changbin had walked in on an impromptu makeout session that he ended quickly by shouting, "oh, thank god!" apparently, all the other members were aware of both of their feelings and perhaps their bouncing around each other's feelings annoyed them just a touch.

the tension that seemed to unknowingly exist due to each of their strong feelings soon seemed to dissipate and, even to the fans, they were closer than ever. though they're only three months into this, chan was more than excited than their old couple phase of relationship, hoping more than anything he's still as clingy then as he is now.

the body under him moved slightly and he lifted his head, curious. a hand pushed at his under the shirt, grumbly voice following, "your hand is so cold, hyung." 

chan scooted further up the bed, cursing the small space for limiting his movement. "sorry, sungie, but how else are they gonna get warm?" he brushed some hair out of jisung's eyes, watching them crack open to stare at him poutily. so cute.

"i dont know, just not on me," he whined tiredly. he pulled at chan's shirt despite that, pulling him closer. 

"sorry, hun, but you're the only heater here." he grinned cheekily, sliding his hand back under and resting it on his stomach. jisung whined but didn't swat him away, both hands occupied with wrapping around chan's torso until he could reach his face.  
he blinked at him sleepily, but still managed a smile, gently kissing at both of chan's cheeks. 

"what's that about," chan whispered, digging his arms underneath jisung to hold him tighter. by effect, he accidentally rode his shirt up and pulled one hand out to drape the blanket further over him to prevent him from getting too cold. 

the younger shrugged, planting another kiss on chan's forehead. "i just missed you, i think." chan leaned back, heart tugging at the soft, in love look in jisung's eyes he knows was in his as well. too many times its made him fall in love again and again with him and it wouldn't stop any time soon.

"i missed you too, baby," and he leaned down to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're in love that's it lol


	6. the storm and then the rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they duke it out verbally since its p much just a lot of dialogue lol also its really fucking short :3 bye

“Be honest, hyung, there was a time-” he hiccuped, tears clogging his throat, “-that you were… ashamed of me.” 

Chan stared back, daggers in his skin. He bristled like an angry cat and broke eye contact. “I never.. I never fucking said that and I don’t know why you would accuse that of me, Jisung. You, of all fucking people-”

“You didn’t let me go with you to see anyone! What the fuck else am I supposed to think of you just saying no every time your friends asked to meet me or when your-”

Chan threw his phone onto the couch, frustration building. “That wasn’t because-”

Jisung’s loud voice just cut through once more. “You never explain it, so I don’t understand why that’s not supposed to upset me! This has happened before, hyung, I know what it-”

Chan spun towards him, finally making eye contact again. “Will you listen to me?” 

Jisung’s glassy eyes and stained cheeks stared back, looking more broken than Chan ever wished to see him. He wished he could put him back together piece by piece but it wasn’t that simple. Jisung looked down, another tear sliding down his cheek. “Fine.”

Chan gestured to the couch, trying to calm his own heart and his own anger. He didn’t like being accused, but he knew Jisung was hurt. It was better to just talk it out. The younger sat on the other end, eyes on his hands as they fiddled with the ripped string at the end of his skirt. Chan didn’t like how much his hands were shaking and forced himself to look away again. 

“I didn’t say no to you coming because I was ashamed of you. I was afraid of what they’d say to you and I didn’t want you to get hurt. I’m sorry I made that decision for you.” He hesitantly brought his eyes back to Jisung’s face, but regretted it when he saw his face scrunch up again. 

The younger put his hands over his eyes and leaned over his legs, most likely just trying not to cry even more. Chan felt his own tears burn against his eyes, but he couldn’t look away, too afraid of the response he’ll receive. 

Slowly, Jisung rose his head again, but not without a new influx of tears and snot. “And I’m sorry I accused you of being ashamed of me. I know you’re not ashamed of me; I just didn’t know what to think, but I shouldn’t have-” He hiccuped again and tears shook in their trails down his face, “-let that come out at all and accused you of it.” 

“Sungie, can I hold you?” He was already waiting to, like his arms were empty without him. 

The younger nodded quickly, opening his own arms and grabbing onto Chan just as quickly. Chan let himself cry while holding him, finally safe in his arms to let go. The younger cried with him, hopefully just as safe there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyy im back with more chansung shit anyways tysm


	7. do i get an award for causing that smile?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just idk happy words in a bathroom and being super kind and in love

“Hyung, if you push your hair this way, it gives you way too much of a Justin Bieber vibe,” Jisung said, hands moving Chan’s hair back and forth. At the current position he was in, Jisung was taller than him, but only because he was sat on the bathroom counter for the sole person of giving him lectures on his own hair. 

“However, when you move it this way, like that time the bleach had faded and it was like a dirty blonde, you look really intimidating or like a fuckboy, but it still looks hot either way.” His hands moved his hair again, legs swaying on either side of Chan’s hips. 

“Sung, I think I know how I wanna style my hair,” he mumbled, unable to stop the smile from growing on his cheeks. He pulled away from his pestering hands to face himself in the mirror and fix the mess that Jisung made. 

“No, I know, I was just saying because it’s fun and also I like touching your hair.” He grinned back, gums and all. Chan fondly pet his chin, admiring his smile. 

“I can tell, Hannie. Seriously, though, if I let it curl up naturally, can I style it this way maybe?” He moved his hands around to one side of his hair, attempting to push the majority to one side. Jisung stared at him, scrutinizing the look. 

“Yeah, maybe, but it would be a lot of work and it might not hold for too long,” He supplied, sipping from his cup of hot chocolate. Chan grimaced at the thought of it just rolling back over his face once again and prayed that he would at least be able to get it out of his eyes. “Why are you so worried about it, Channie? You’ll look good, no matter what you do.” 

Chan turned to him, clearly a little nervous. The younger cooed and pulled him against his chest, placing his drink back on the counter to hold him. “You’ll be okay, Channie Chan Chan.”

“You’re just saying that, ‘cause you think I’m hot,” Chan mumbled against his chest, arms holding him back just as tight. Jisung nodded fervently above him. 

“Duh, because you are hot. But I think you’re hot especially when you’re happy and comfortable, so if you just pick a hairstyle that makes you feel the most happy and the most comfortable with yourself then I, and everyone else, will think you’re one great hottie. Do you think you can do that, Channie?”

A slow nod. 

Jisung grinned and kissed the top of his head, petting his head. “Good, Channie. Good, Channie puppy.” The older pulled away to yelp like a dog, grinning and bouncing on his toes. Jisung full-out laughed, grabbing him again to kiss his cheeks. “So cute! So cute! So cute!”

Chan giggled and pulled away this time to admire Jisung, grinning at his wiggly eyebrows. “You know who’s a real cutie?” Jisung stared, unimpressed. “Oh, come on, give me some enthusiasm.” Jisung feigned absolute joy and Chan grimaced. “Alright, come on now.”

“Okay, okay. My bad, my bad.” 

Chan huffed, but wrapped an arm around Jisung’s waist and using the other hand to hold his cheek. “Now that’s a real cutie I see.”

Jisung held his hand with his own, smiling softly. “Only cute?” 

Chan glanced at his lips, unable to stop smiling at him. “Okay, and a real hottie.” Jisung cheered a little before he kissed him full on the lips, his excitement evident in his soft, but all-teeth kind of kiss. Chan held in a laugh and slowed him down, enjoying the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy also wash your hands support minho and seungmin on the radio pls they're adorable oh also this is unedited haha


	8. dancing in your scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> slow dancing and clinginess

"i like your hands," chan said, pulling jisung's hands towards him. 

his adoration was a little heavier tonight than jisung was used to, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. the older had come home and draped himself over the couch away from jisung, where he was editing a project on his laptop. little by little, he got closer and closer until jisung finally pushed the laptop over and let him pull him close. he felt so loved, being held by chan and having him drown him in praises. 

the older tugged at his wrists again, jisung finally noticing that chan wanted him to stand with him. he smiled at him tiredly, rising to his feet where chan placed an arm around jisung's waist and his hand in his. "dance with me, sungie," he whispered on his cheek. 

"okay, hyung." he held him back, leaning closer towards him while they swayed gently. chan rubbed his hand up and down his back, kissing gently at jisung's cheek. 

"hyung," jisung muttered to chan's shoulder, eyelids drooping. the older hummed back, lips pressing softly on the edge of his jawline. "what brought this on? are you okay?" 

"i just missed you, is all." he ran his hand down jisung's arm to hold him with both arms, leaving him to hold onto chan back. his lips teased lower down his neck, too gentle.

jisung couldn't hold the light chuckle that rose up his throat. "we cuddle all the time, hyung; what could you possibly have missed?" he grasped tighter though, enjoying this. maybe they had been a little different lately and he hadn't noticed. 

chan smiled against his skin. "i know, baby, but sometimes that isn't enough of you to satisfy my jisung needs." 

the younger fully laughed against him, taking a moment to throw his head back. chan leaned away to allow him his amusement, a grin on his face as he watched him laugh it out. he waited till he finished to pull him back in, closer than before. 

jisung patted his head lovingly, grinning. "you're so cute, channie. so cute, so cute. you can have as much of me as you need, hyung." he cradled his head in his hands and leaned back, dotting his face in tiny kisses as the older only grinned at him. 

chan waited till he finished to pull him close again, digging a hand in jisung's hair to really tuck his face into his shoulder. "good, sungie. there's honestly not enough of you that i can get, but I'll take what you'll give," he mumbled, grin still present in his voice. 

they swayed longer and longer in the silence of their living room, clinging to one another more and more until jisung was falling asleep on his feet and chan was his only support to not fall over. 

"you need some help gettin to bed, baby?" 

jisung didn't even open his eyes, nodding in his shoulder. the older smiled, moving away for only a moment so he could pick him up and carry him to bed. he placed him down carefully, turned off all the lights, and returned again to an even clingier jisung, arms in the air as he waited to be held again. 

chan slid in next to him and pulled him against his side. "you're just as clingy as me, if not more," he whispered, resting his head on jisung's chest and kissing his collarbone. 

"yeah, yeah, lover boy, get your z's on already," jisung mumbled back. his gentle fingers on the older's scalp and even breathing did the work of pulling him far into his dreams, safe and warm in his boyfriend's arms.


	9. you make my hands shake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan's in love and he's coming to terms with that.

There are times when Chan felt very strongly that he was falling in love. and all of them centered around one particular boy named Jisung. 

One night in the studio, barely even eleven, and Jisung had started to slouch and quiet down as he often did when he got more tired. Chan was trying to show him a part of the song he'd done recently, asking for advice on the blending of parts. Changbin was writing lyrics in another room, had said the inspiration was strong on this day.

Jisung stretched his arms out on the desk, taking off his cap in favor of ruffling at his hair. Chan was trying to explain what he'd tried and failed to do when he glanced over to find Jisung sliding his head onto his outstretched arm. The younger nodded along absentmindedly but his eyes were slipping closed and Chan was busy staring at his fluttering eyelashes when Jisung dropped his hat over the top half of his face. Neither of them even bothered to notice Chan had just stopped talking, the only noise in the room was their soft breathing. Jisung was much too sleepy and Chan was... captivated.

With the hat covering his other features, Chan's eyes dropped to his lips and he was overcome by the desire to touch them. Just a little, to know if Jisung was wearing the strawberry chapstick he'd gotten him. This wasn't the only occurrence of his eyes training themselves on his lips and when he noticed he'd bitten them a little too much, he subtly got him sweet-flavored chapstick. He'll always feel a little proud of the pleased look on Jisung's face when he put it on and shouted, "oh, it's sweet!" Now though, he frowned, but his eyes stayed glued to his slightly open mouth. He should not be thinking about him like this.

He took one last longing gaze at them before reaching out to fondly touch Jisung's chin. The younger made a small noise, but moved enough to gently move the hat off his eyes. Chan looked away, hand slowly straying back to the keyboard even though it would have rather stayed. "Maybe we should go home, since you're so tired, Hannie." 

He focused on closing stuff out and not the lasting image of Jisung's soft lips in his mind.

\--

A moment that comes to his mind a lot was when he first saw Jisung eat. It's not an unknown thing that Jisung stuffs his cheeks full with food while he eats but Chan back then hadn't ever seen it. The first time he ate with the boy was when Jisung moved into the dorms to live with him. it was awkward and they barely interacted sometimes, but when Chan bought a lot of takeout he invited Jisung to eat with him. 

And in the middle of getting himself another serving, he glanced up, only to freeze when he saw the boy across from him. Jisung's cheeks were big and full, much like a squirrel storing food in their cheeks. He was busy scooping rice out of his bowl so he didn't notice Chan ogling his food-fluffed cheeks so the older didn't really feel too embarrassed staring at him so openly.

He'd never before seen a person eat like that and he also didn't think he'd feel so fond of it. Of course, he thought Jisung was cute, with his shy habits and the slow smiles when he thought Chan was being funny. But this was stranger, stronger. 

"Hyung?" 

He blinked, eyes focusing on the boy across from him again. His fluffy cheeks were a little pink, maybe from being looked at for so long and, strangely, the fond feeling in his chest grew a little more. 

"A-ah, sorry, just was thinking about, um, if-" His mind scrambled a little and he glanced at the television, digging an idea out of his head. "We could... watch a movie tonight? I'm sure we could find something." He watched Jisung carefully to see if it had worked; definitely not to admire his full cheeks. 

Jisung brightened up, nodding a bit excitedly. Chan tried to look away then from his cheeks, blushing in his embarrassment and hiding his head in his food. 

\--- 

One of the most recent moments happened in the past few minutes. but it was the kicker. 

All of them were gathered in the living room, trying to watch this movie Hyunjin had been raving about for days. 

Seungmin didn't really enjoy it, but he was paying attention in case Hyunjin wanted to talk about it. Minho was on his phone, taking up the entire other end of the couch while Felix was just a little confused by the plot. He was quietly whispering to Jeongin, who was whispering back explanations discreetly. They took up the floor in front of Minho while Jisung laid between Felix's legs and watched with rapt attention. Chan was between Changbin's feet at the other end of the couch, both trying to pay attention but feeling just a little sleepier by the minute. Changbin had Seungmin to lean on though, who kept him awake by occasionally flicking him in the nose or whispering something funny. 

Chan was keeping himself awake by glancing around at them every now and then, both amused and fond at how themselves they all are. He knew it was a fact that they were all his everything. He leaned against Changbin's legs and looked at them once more, eyes drooping and falling on Jisung. 

He'd noticed his crush had gotten stronger and, watching him now, snuggled in a hoodie way too big for him, wearing mismatched colorful socks, and trying to subtly write stuff on his phone at the same time as pay attention to the plot wasn’t making it any easier. His mouth hung open slightly, eyes big and expressive as he stared at the screen. Chan glanced at the screen and realized this seemed to be a high tension moment, the love interests getting closer and closer during their argument, as if preparing to kiss each other. He knew it was gonna happen and he should've watched, but his head turned instead to watch Jisung react to it. The younger was pulling away from Felix's chest slightly, hands paused over his keyboard. 

Suddenly, he gasped – Chan assumed they had finally kissed – and his eyes changed slightly, a sort of desire building in his eyes. as if studying a painting, Jisung's eyes were moving over the entire intimate scene, head tilting slightly. He looked as though if he were given the chance, he'd join their moment just for the feeling of intimacy. 

From behind him, Hyunjin let out a soft sob, clearly fully invested. Seungmin laughed lightly and Chan's attention was broken from Jisung. 

But he couldn’t shake the feeling of how his hands burned with desire to touch Jisung's cheeks, how his heart pounded heavily where it fell in his stomach, and the way he ached to see Jisung look at him with the same desire for love. 

This was the moment Chan realized he had fallen in love. With Jisung. 

He glanced at his hands and his ears tuned back in to hear to faintly hear a joke from said member, now noticing him leaning over Felix's knee to pat Hyunjin's. the others laughed lightly and Jisung, pleased, kept smiling for a little longer. Chan tried not to stare too long. 

Later, when some had fallen asleep on the couch and others were struggling to detach from those to go to bed, he caught Jisung's eye and the younger sent him a bright, tired smile. His mouth spoke ahead of his mind, whispering out, "do you wanna sleep with me tonight, Hannie?" 

The younger blinked at him but the bright shine that entered his eye comforted him from feeling too scared, especially when the younger nodded slowly at him. The remaining awake members gathered the sleepier ones and essentially dragged most of them to their beds. Changbin put up a whole fight, whining loudly as Minho and Seungmin tugged at each of his arms. Even the sleepier ones woke up enough to laugh at him, a half-asleep Felix poking at Changbin's sides the moment they got him up. 

By the time that Chan actually got into bed, his own exhaustion was settling over him a little heavier. Even his heart was tired, probably from hopelessly pounding a whole lot. He closed his eyes and heaved a sigh, trying to settle his mind a little. 

However, the bed dipped underneath him and he opened his eyes to see Jisung leaning over him and his weak, tired heart regained new strength to start beating hard again. The younger smiled softly and laid gently next to him, curling up against Chan's side. 

The older always thought he looked so cute when he laid on his side like that and he moved around to face him. The younger winked and Chan rolled his eyes, trying not to be too hesitant lest he give away that he was shaking with desire to touch him. Instead, he just did it; reaching out and wrapping an arm around Jisung's waist and pulling him close to him. Jisung wrapped an arm around Chan's shoulders, tucking his face into his neck. 

Chan drifted his other hand up his back carefully and digging his fingers deep into Jisung's hair. The younger made a noise of content and Chan practically buzzed with joy from that alone. 

He was glad to come to terms with being in love with him, because maybe in the future he'd even be ready to tell him. But not now, he thought, as Jisung nuzzled further into his neck, but maybe one day. When he's ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this one doesn't suck uh i found it in my lil chansung folder so yeah i read through it and decided to add it so i hope you like it its a lil old but yeah  
> wash your hands, wear a mask, vote for skz, and be respectful to others thank you bye bye

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed chansung
> 
> stream uhhh my pace to 100m


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